dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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