Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize