I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
