what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize