remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
