I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
