i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
