Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize