Non-Jews are for practice
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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