Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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