It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize