and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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