I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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