her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize