you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
