..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
