all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
