He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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