Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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