i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
