hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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