Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
