You're my little dorito
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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