So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
