Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
