there's paper in my vomit.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
