Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Terrible idea I love it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
