I CAN MOONWALK!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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