This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
