You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
