I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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