break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
