Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
