I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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