My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
