She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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