I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
