Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
