i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she peed on how many people?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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