Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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