Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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