Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
