in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
