just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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