there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Quick, to the slutcave!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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