Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
