Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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