Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
