Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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