you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Randomize
