bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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