I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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