so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
