somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
