We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
