my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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