I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
