people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
