i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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