I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
