I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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