My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I want her autograph on my taint
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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