a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize