You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
