just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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