i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
