he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
