you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize