Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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