We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
