I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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