Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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