I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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