yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
