so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
