I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
