just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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