oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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