he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize