Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
